Parts that I found hilarious:
Chris Knight: It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.
Professor Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab.
Chris Knight: Fine. I'll gain weight.
Chris Knight: Look at is this way. Considering the type of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong probability that this may be the only chace you ever have in your entire lives... to have sex.
Chris Knight: Don't eat that.
Girl: Why?
Chris Knight: Don't you know that eating that stuff can give you very large breasts?
(looks at her)
Chris Knight: Oh my God, I'm too late!
Major Carnagle: Where's the Laser?
Prof Hathaway: It's coming!
Major Carnagle: It's coming? Ha! It's not even breathing hard.
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